Today I wander through a stand of hardwoods. There are trilliums everywhere, as far as the eye can see, bold and showy and white as freshly laundered linens. In the sun-drenched sea of triune trilliums, one catches my eye, like a perfectly placed accidental in Debussy. One trillium dares to be different, sporting four petals rather than the standard three.
I move in for a closer look, regretting I don’t have my camera in hand. I’ll add this to my mental checklist of plants that defy their names: white birdfoot “violets”, native Wisconsin prickly pear (don’t cacti belong in a desert?), and tamaracks –the “evergreens” that turn gold in the fall and drop their needles.
I’ve always had an affinity for natural anomalies. Maybe it’s because I’ve always felt like one myself. Only 2% of the population has red hair. Only 7% of the population has blue eyes. I have both, the rarest combination of all, occurring in only 1% of the world’s population.
According to Myers-Brigg, my personality type is INFP. That means I’m a sleeping volcano, usually subdued but capable of passionate eruptions over the things I value and believe. I love people and avoid people, depending on my mood. I enjoy long, quiet hours just thinking, feeling, observing, and creating. Only about 2% of all people share these qualities.
Probably because of my personality bent, I prefer whitewater canoeing, cooking over the fire and fishing to shopping, decorating (and cleaning) my home and long days at the spa. What can I say? I’m a misfit!
Sometimes being a misfit leaves me feeling lonely and misunderstood. My friends, bless their souls, love me as I am whether they really understand me or not. Only the other misfits, eccentrics, and non-conformists in my life feed my need to “belong.” We are the four-petaled trilliums, white violets, and needle-shedding tamaracks; unique and somewhat isolated in a forest of social conformity.
Most of the time, however, I’m content, comfortable in my own skin. I am true to who God created me to be. I don’t pretend to be someone or something I’m not. Nor do I believe God would want me to. He created this red-headed, blue-eyed introvert for His own special purposes. He asks only that I surrender my will to His, and allow Him to make the me that I am more like Christ. When no one else understands, God does. When no one else knows my heart, God does. When no one else is nearby, God is.
O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. (Psalm 139:1-3)
If you’re like me, feeling like you don’t quite fit in, I just wanted you to know you’re not alone. Don’t be discouraged. God is with you. He understands. He intentionally created the you that you are, and uniquely equipped you to accomplish things for His kingdom that no one could do better than you. Seek Him, His kingdom and His righteousness. He promises to pile on additional blessings when we put Him first.
